Naggers Anonymous

I am standing on a soap box so be forewarned. What is the main complaint most husbands have about their wives? She nags too much, have you ever heard that? I hear men saying that all the time. I used to hear it all the time before I got married and I wondered what happens to women when they get married that turns them into that? I just looked at it with logic; every man can't tell the same lie so there must be some truth to it. There is. My hubby is smart enough to never say the n word to me; he goes around it by telling me I say the same thing over and over again. But, the accusation is still there. Here is what I learned about nagging and marriage. Of course you nag when you say something and it is ignored or disregarded the natural reactions are repeating yourself or making your request again. Now I can only speak for me but most little things I don't sweat. If I say, "Can you get the mail?" and he ignores me or doesn't do it I don't get all uptight. If it's about something minor or something I could do myself I don't care. Marriage sometimes is about picking your battles; you can't fight every one that leads nowhere. So I choose not to get myself all wound up about the simple things. The important issues, anything related to our child, finances, residence, loved ones, etc. yes I am going to nag, say the same thing same difference. Because my husband and I are partners it is mandatory for our priorities to be in sync that's the only way the operation will run smooth. So, it frustrates me when it has to get to the point of nagging about something that should strike the same sense of urgency or importance in my partner. So this is my new rule, husbands are no longer allowed to accuse wives of nagging if the topic is of significant importance. If this is the situation then the husband must take into account that they are somehow behaving in a way that is deficient. Marriage Law.

Valentine's Day

Our family's first Valentine's day was sweet.  My Bella went out for her first sit down dinner with her "date" (daddy).

Me and my Bella dolled up and ready for our night on the town.

Sitting up like a big girl :-)



My Bella eating the bananas I packed and making a mess.

It was a great evening.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Ready to Cross the Finish Line

I found these pictures yesterday cleaning out the digital camera. I was four days away from my due date and my OB/GYN started talking induction so my hubby and I hit the streets to get me walking in hopes that I would go into spontaneous labor. We walked the malls, up and downstairs and in the neighborhood but nothing worked. Hubby suggested we go to the Taste of Chicago and walk around for a couple of hours and it turned out to be one of the best days. We laughed and ate and smiled all day waiting for our little Bella to arrive.

This is one of my few pregnancy pictures I was very self-conscious about my pregnancy and I don't like pictures normally so I really didn't want to be photographed.  I think for the next baby maybe we should take a family pregnancy picture.

Hubby in his New Dad shirt, this plus the baby bump and we were a hit everywhere we went.

Hubby is a comedian :-P The food is what I miss most about being pregnant. Oh and I demonstrated excellent eating technique lol I could attack a buffet with reckless abandon and no shame. I really miss the food L
   
This was one of those good days that you are glad you recorded in someway (we have video too) so you can have it forever. We were really happy and we laughed a lot, I can't wait to let my Bella watch the videos so she can hear just how much joy she brought us before she even arrived.

And a few days later…

Having a family is awesome :-)

Owning It

Hubby and I had yet another row. My Bella was playing with him on the couch and he was being inattentive long story short she falls off and I get PISSED. He was playing the PlayStation as usual and I guess that's why I was so mad because of what he was doing instead of watching her. His first response was, she didn't fall! When I know he knows I saw and heard her hit the ground. The argument took a wrong turn at that point because it was no longer about my Bella falling it was about his lying. It makes me feel crazy when he looks at me with a straight face and tells me that something didn't happen when it clearly did. He tries to Jedi mind trick me and by the time I get finished arguing about that the main issue is left untouched because we're exhausted and too pissed off to deal with anything else. Today was about him being more careful and attentive when he has my Bella but we ended up fighting about if she actually hit the ground or the top of his foot. I wish that when he and I have an issue we could argue (the mature way) if necessary, come to some kind of understanding and own up to the part we played in the issue. But too many times in our relationship I own up to my actions and he dances around admitting fault. Taking responsibility for his actions is something that is so hard for hubby and I wonder sometimes if our marriage can ever be fixed if we don't work on our individual issues because they play such a huge part. If I let myself be pessimistic I wonder if he is even at a place in his life where he is ready to improve in that way. I try to show by example and own my missteps, I make a point to say oh that was my fault or that was all on me I'm sorry. But he has yet to do the same it's so frustrating and belittling because he doesn't understand that I feel like my feelings don't matter to him when he neglects to address them.
The fight got ugly. Well I will be honest and say the fight made me act ugly and talk mean and cuss because I am holding on to a lot of resent and unresolved issues with him that spill over every time we have a problem. I wish he knew I didn't want it to be like this. I wish he knew that I do wish I could forget everything that has happened and just love him. That's what my heart wants me to do but my head is logical enough to tell it when it has been disrespected. Every time I look at my Bella I pray we are not broken beyond repair.