Peer Pressure

It has been said that when women dress they don't do so to impress the men they do so to impress the women. True statement, well at least with me it is. I am critical of myself and I am in turn critical of others under the same standards I put on myself. I've been on the giving and receiving end of girl-on-girl criticism and in an effort to eliminate it from myself I have begun to see it from the outside in. When I made the decision to free myself from relaxers the women in my life who were against it said things like, "So what, you're just going to wear your hair nappy?" Or the asked, "What if you have to go somewhere important or if you have a job interview?" Everyone has their own idea of beauty but I wonder if our "own idea" of beauty is being dictated (by whom is an entirely different mouthful) and perpetuated by us. With my hair situation I ran into a conflict with a deep set idea of "acceptable" hair for a black woman. Women who genuinely care for me said these things not to hurt me but it came from this dictated notion of how beauty should be achieved and because I was going against that it was automatically a negative thing. We watch the dove commercials and talk about accepting each other as women as we are but it doesn't show through in honest reactions I have encountered in so many situations when dealing with other women.

In the past I could have been classified as a mean girl and maybe some friends would still say that in certain situations so I am guilty of it too. And when I think about it we can't blame men entirely for the negative and narrow stereotypes and images of women in the media. We take the limited definition of beauty we are given and use that as the law book in which to judge the next woman. In my own experience I can say it's hard to remain confident in my idea of beauty and my appearance when "acceptable" is completely opposite. I find myself excited when I see another natural hair rocking woman when I am out and about. I feel an instant connection and respect for them like that's what I'm talking about fight the power. Because I choose to not straighten my hair or wear long wigs or weaves and because I choose not to dress over sexed I stick out like a sore thumb in my community. The same images are stressed in the media and you're left feeling like there is only one way to be. I'm glad I have gotten to a level of maturity that I can see through the peer pressure to fit into a box and gather the courage to be myself. You have to have that when you encounter a stranger through the course of your day and she gives you the once over, we are all too familiar with, and you just know that she is deciding if you fit into her beauty box.



 

Hair Update

The flat twist out does not last over night for me.  My hair is so dry its impossible to bring the curls back to life the next day.  I have taken to flat twisting it every night but I don't mind it.  It doesn't take me long to twist my hair and I like the regimen I have gotten into with giving my hair lots of moisture every time I twist.  I have seen some improvement in how my hair feels and I'm crediting that to the healthy dose of coconut oil it's receiving everyday.  It feels more pliable and healthy.  I think I will stick with the flat twists for a while.

Flat Twist Out Part Deux

I washed my hair and did another flat twist out.  I love the results! I took pictures from start to finish to post.  I think I will wear it like this until I grow it long enough to get the bantu knot effect I want.  I think I have type 4c hair from all the descriptions I have read and it is next to impossible to keep enough moisture in my hair, I have tried so many things but as I am running my hands over my hair now I have never felt it this soft and healthy.  My hair didn't suck up all the oil for once.

First, I shampooed my hair with Shea Moisture Organic Shea Butter Curl and Shine Coconut and Hibiscus and then conditioned with Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner.  I love how soft and springy the Curl and Shine Shampoo makes my hair and I have learned through painful trial and error that I absolutely MUST have a leave in conditioner every time I shampoo.  Every time I rinse out my conditioner I end up with a wiry, coarse, unmanageable mess.  So, I didn't wash the restorative conditioner out, detangled and air dried.

  I don't put the flat twists in immediately after washing because it would never dry.  After my afro dried I sectioned my hair into four sections the sides, front and back to begin my flat twists.  In the front and back sections I put three flat twists and in the sides I put two.  I sprayed the section I was working with just a little water to moisturize and make it easier to work with.  I also used pure organic coconut oil for gloss and moisture.

I wrapped it with a satin scarf and let it set over night.  In the morning I took it down carefully and split some of the twists to fluff it out.

Then I tamed it a little and added and head band. 

I think this was a pretty successful twist out.  I used only three products and I spent maybe one hour in total washing and twisting.  I want to continue to wash once a week so I will update on how long I can keep it like this before I have to wash or re-twist.



Flat Twist Out

I had a pretty good experience with my first attempt at a flat twist out. Here is what I did:

First I shampooed my hair with Kinky-Curly Come Clean shampoo. The next time I do this in about 3-4 days I'm going to use Shea Moisture Organic Shea Butter Curl & Shine Shampoo. The Kinky-Curly Come Clean is a good clarifying shampoo but I don't like using it more than maybe once every month or month and a half to remove the build-up. I conditioned with Shea Moisture Organic Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner and used it as a leave in. I let my hair dry overnight into an afro. I sectioned my hair into four sections sides, front and back and put three flat twists in each section four in the back. I used a spray bottle with water and coconut oil to moisturize my hair before twisting each flat twist. I wrapped it with a satin scarf and let it set for about 4 hours then carefully undid each flat twist fluffed with coconut oil and that's it. Pictures next time I wash stay tuned.